Shifting Gears, Never to old to Follow a Dream - Stacy's Story

Today, it’s time to get real. I realized over the past few weeks that I have been holding back on sharing things about myself, why I do what I do, and how my journey in this life brought me to where I am today. Seems kind of selfish when I really think about it. I am always so inspired when I find stories about why people choose their careers and beliefs, and how life happened for them. So today, it’s all about me! Are you ready?

I grew up in a single parent home, with a mom who loved my brother and I above all else. My dad came back on the scene when I was about 6 or 7 years old, with the encouragement of my step-mom and my mom, so I had the benefits (and some stress) of 3 parents - and still do to this day. I also had all 4 of my grandparents around on a regular basis, as well as extended family on both sides. Altogether, a great big family that came with its share of craziness, fun, tears, anger, laughter, and above all else, love.

Growing up with a single mom was a unique experience. I was taught from early on that women are strong and independent, and can do anything they choose. My mom started running her own business in 1986 because she wanted something better, and wanted to be her own boss after a series of disappointing jobs. While she describes this as a good thing, I know, now, that she was worried about money and our survival quite a bit. To her credit, she never told my brother and I about it, she persevered and did her best, gave us a strong foundation, good values and work ethics, and the inspiration to be anything we wanted to be - the best example of a committed and loving mom that I could ask for.

---

---

---

I didn’t realize till much later in life that I was deeply affected by missing my dad during my younger life.I questioned a lot of things about myself. On a very personal level, I have always questioned whether I was truly loved by anyone, and it all stemmed from my parents splitting up. Don’t misunderstand - my dad is a great person, kind and loving. I honestly believe that having kids at younger age was pretty scary for him - as it is for most people when taking on the daunting task of raising a brand new person. And, there were two of us - my brother and I are 18 months apart, so two really young kids, really close together. I haven’t actually asked, it’s just how I have come to see things as an adult looking back. I am entirely grateful that he met my stepmom, who is a truly amazing person. She knew that he would regret not getting to know my brother and I, and encouraged him to have us in his life - and he did it. I spent just about every summer from the ages of 7 to 15 visiting their house in Idaho, getting to know both of them and learning that I could also count on my dad (and stepmom) to be there when I needed him.

Having this kind of family shaped me into who I am now - it taught me ways of doing and thinking that I wouldn’t have in any other situation. It had made me rather headstrong, and a “I can rely best on myself, alone” kind of person - not always the best traits, but definitely part of who I am. It has taken me most of my 40 years to really love and appreciate this, and let go of “how things might have been”. After all, living a life looking backwards to things I had no control over, and can’t change, is just no life at all. This journey to appreciation and love has not always been pretty, or easy, but it has been the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Fast forward to what I consider my first real decision with how I wanted my grown-up life to look. Back in the day, I wanted to be an artist. I chose to pursue a fine arts degree, right when digital media was taking it’s baby steps into the wider world, the ‘90’s and early 2000’s. I had always been sketching and drawing, I loved my art and music classes more than anything, and was always humming or singing. It may come as a surprise to learn that I was in choir in high school -both a concert choir and show choir (totally loved it), and I hold a degree from the University of Denver as a Bachelor Fine Arts. I love to get my hands dirty with paint and colored pencils, and I absolutely adore creating designs in the digital space that are beautiful, elegant and send a message - and I sing while I create.

I share myself through what I create, and it holds a special place in my heart. I didn’t realize until recently that no school made me an artist - I already am an artist, and always will be.

During my schooling, I also learned that I have a logical side as well. I like to learn things, research, really understand and KNOW. Life is a puzzle, and I like to see how the pieces fit together - even if it’s not obvious. My parents used to joke that I could have been a scientist if I hadn’t loved art so much, and I totally agree! After all - is any person really just one thing?

After college, life took an unintended detour. You see, I wasn’t confident that I could make a living sharing my art. I just couldn’t see the money in it, or how to even get started. College is a wonderful thing, but I find that they miss the mark in showing students the multiple possibilities of how their talents can exist in the world. They teach and encourage, yes, but they are focusing on packing things in a certain way. It’s hard to see outside of the box from the inside.

So, I entered the corporate world. I put myself into a literal box by joining the cubicle set - and it’s taken me the better part of 5 years to understand why I made that decision. At the time, it was the “safe” choice, the “right” choice. After all - the path in life is usually college, job/career, spouse, kids, retirement…traditional ways of navigating the world. I was in my mid-20’s and making more money than I had ever had before, along with learning new things, getting really comfortable with techy stuff, organizing and detailing, making new friends, and basically being a headstrong 20-something. I grew up at that corporate job. I went from a hot-headed kid, to a thinking adult. Old co-workers have teased me about my craziness when I first started, and how far I had come. I made many friends there, and still have them today (they know who they are!). Nothing will ever replace the experiences I had at that place. 

Still, I knew things just weren’t right for me. It was a good job by society’s definition, but it wasn’t lighting me up. Over time, I found my love of life diminishing. I started gaining weight, I was tired and depressed all the time, it was taking a serious effort to make myself get up and go to work. I started working really early in the morning just so I could leave by 3pm - I had to escape each day. Everything was starting to fuse into a haze of sameness, with nothing to change it. Have you ever seen the movie Joe vs. the Volcano? If not, watch the first 5 minutes - that’s how my life was feeling.

I took my massage training in the middle of all of this - looking for something new and interesting to change things in my haze. Massage was amazing - a truly human connection. Honestly, how much closer can you get to another person than through touch? I met more friends in massage school, and an added bonus, my future husband. It was another escape, and a good one. The world turned and the puzzle pieces fell back into place….

Why I didn’t pursue massage right then, I just don’t know. But then again, didn’t think I could survive, much less thrive, through helping people with pain. And so, the corporate job continued. And it continued until I just couldn’t take it anymore. 5 years ago in 2014, my company was purchased by a company overseas. I had been through 2 previous mergers in my 13 year tenure, and had survived 5 workforce reductions (a polite way of saying “layoffs”), and I just couldn’t take any more. At that point, I volunteered to be let go. I was so exhausted and depressed from staying in the box, that no amount of money, perceived security, or paid time off could change things - I had to get out, no matter what.


And life shifted again - this time into something I felt good about. I chose massage again - nearly 10 years after training, and only doing things on the side, I made the choice to move things into full time, and devoted myself to helping people heal their chronic pain.

You see, I had finally come to understand that how I felt was dictating everything. I was exhausted and sad because the corporate life held no fulfillment for me. I no longer believed that what I was doing was helping or making the world a better place - it just felt empty and hollow - going through the motions of life without really living.It was both the easiest and hardest decision of my life. I’ve had to come to terms with it for the past several years, to remember why I left, and honestly, to think of all of the things I learned and the ways I have changed and grown into a better person - the person I am today - and actually appreciate them. Yet another lesson in not looking back and wondering how things “might have been”.

Appreciating the past is not something I am naturally good at. It has taken years for me to see the good things, the benefits and happiness that all of my difficult and not-so-great decisions have held for me. I had to take responsibility for everything, both good and what I perceived as “bad” and remember that it was all about me - what I thought, felt and what I chose. I created it, for better or worse, by being who I am, making choices, and living with the consequences, of those choices. The only factor in my life is me - I’m the only person inside my head choosing these things.

Today, I choose massage, every day. Some days, it’s easy. I am in my flow, giving my best to my clients and doing my very best to care for them. Other days, it’s a conscious choice. When things are flowing and aren’t so easy, I have to remember WHY I chose this career. There are so many reasons, but this is the most profound:

“ I help my clients get back in touch with their emotions by physically releasing chronic pain and stress in the body”

That’s it - my mission in life. Why I choose massage even when it’s not easy, even as I sometimes question if it was worth it to leave my corporate job (of course it was!). My whole heart is in my business, my life would not be complete if I couldn’t share this with the world.

I hope you are also choosing the things that make you the most happy, and the most complete at some time your day/week/year. Life is just too precious to live in the haze - and I would know! Just know, I have been there, I have questioned it all, and I have cried, I have regretted, I have wondered and feared. And in the end, I would live my life the same way, because I would not be me any other way.

What do you love in your life? I would like to know, if you want to share! Love and Blessings, to everyone, always.

---

---

---

---

---